Family Mediation Week

Spreading awareness to help separating parents avoid courtroom conflict 

Family Mediation Week is here, providing a fantastic opportunity to raise awareness and inform people about the tremendous benefits of Family Mediation. The event takes place in January every year, encouraging separating couples to think about Family Mediation as a way of helping them take control, make decisions together, and build a positive future for their family.

What is Family Mediation?

Family Mediation is when an independent, professionally trained mediator, assists a couple through a separation. Mediation aims to help each party agree on matters concerning children and finances and can also be a helpful service when arrangements previously made need to change.

This service helps parents stay in control of the situation. Nothing decided in mediation is binding, nor will they force you to do anything against your wishes. The mediator will help both parties find common ground and drive towards a solution. They will also explain the steps to take after mediation to make the agreement legally binding.

Family Mediation vs Court

Going to court can often result in one party losing and the other winning. This can deteriorate the relationship further, causing more problems down the line. However, with Family Mediation, this simply isn't the case. The core objective of the mediator is to find common ground and a solution from which both parties can benefit. 

Family mediation is quicker, less stressful, and in many cases, more cost effective than going to court. It provides a relaxed environment where an independent mediator can help both parties communicate to reach an agreement. Unlike the courts, the solution agreed in family mediation is not legally binding. However, steps can be taken after mediation to make the agreement so. 

Are there any limitations of Family Mediation?

Unfortunately, Family Mediation isn't counselling and shouldn't be interpreted as so. It's not designed for each party to air their grievances to one another, nor is it intended to repair relationships; instead, it's there to discuss future arrangements and help a couple separate amicably. 

Family Mediation is also not legal advice. A mediator should never give out legal advice when conducting mediation. They can, however, provide helpful information on where to seek legal advice. 

Who attends Family Mediation?

Traditionally, parents will attend Family Mediation without children. The topics discussed in mediation may be difficult or upsetting for a child to hear, and having a child present may prevent a party from expressing their true feelings. 

There is, however, Child Inclusive Mediation, where a mediator (specifically qualified to speak to children) will talk to the children directly, asking them how they feel and what they think about the situation. This may help the parents reach an agreement that has their children's best interests at heart. 

In some instances, it is encouraged to have solicitors/legal advisors on hand in the background to offer any legal advice that may be required. Usually, this occurs later in the mediation process when matters progress. 

How long does Family Mediation take? 

Unfortunately, there isn't a set time or number of sessions required to reach an outcome in Family Mediation successfully. Every separating couple is different. It all depends on the circumstances and complexity of the couple's relationship. From our experience, it often takes around five sessions of Family Mediation to reach a positive outcome for both parties. We strongly advise clients to take their time with the process, as we must ensure both parties are happy with what's been agreed.

What shouldn't a mediator do? 

This is an important topic, as mediators have clear guidelines for what they can and cannot do. Mediators are encouraged to think creatively and find ways to get the most out of their time with their clients. The more the mediators put into their sessions, the more they can get out, which is in the couple's best interest. However, here are some important factors mediators can't do:

• They can't keep secrets
• Arbitrate
• Judge
• Breach confidentiality (subject to safeguarding)
• Force participation
• Force decisions
• Lose impartiality
• Provide legal advice

The process for Family Mediation

1) We begin the process by conducting Mediation Information and Assessment meetings. These sessions are for each party to meet with the mediator separately to tell their side of the story and what they hope to achieve from Family Mediation. The mediator will also take this initial opportunity to explain the mediation process and conduct safeguarding checks wherever necessary. Lastly, the mediator will perform an assessment and decide whether Family Mediation is suitable to the couple's circumstances.

2) If Family Mediation is suitable and both parties wish to proceed, joint sessions will be arranged where both parties will meet with the mediator in a confidential and controlled space. The parties will use this time to discuss their issues and, hopefully, reach an agreement. If the issues relate to finances following a divorce or separation, the mediator will help the parties gather all the necessary financial information as part of the mediation process.

3) After completing the joint sessions and the parties agree, the mediator will draw up a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). The mediator will also draw up an Open Financial Statement (OFS) if finances are involved. The parties can then take these documents to a solicitor and convert them into a binding format. (MOU's on their own are not binding.)

Get in touch

Our Family team at Warner Goodman has been there for families and couples for over 170 years. Our specialised team is fully qualified to mediate using private rooms in our Southampton, Portsmouth, and Fareham offices. We also have qualified child-inclusive trained mediators to speak with children if required. 

For more information or to schedule a Mediation Information and Assessment session, please phone 02380 639 311 or email us at familyenquiries@warnergoodman.co.uk.

You can also find additional information about Family Mediation by visiting the Family Mediation Council.