Christmas arrangements for separated parents

We often spend Christmas with our family and loved ones, coming together to celebrate the festive holidays. It's also a valuable opportunity for parents to spend quality time with their kids before the New Year begins. Unfortunately, the holidays aren't a pleasant time for all, especially for separated parents who go through Christmas without seeing their children. The most popular days in the festive period are Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day, which consequently causes many disputes between separated parents. 

A dispute we often mediate is when separated parents have an arrangement where the children alternate weekly between them. This routine usually works well but can pose significant problems in the build-up to Christmas. If Christmas falls on what should be one of the parents' arranged contact days, they will often think they are entitled to have the children on those days. However, this isn't the case, and Christmas needs to be shared equally between both parents. This dispute doesn't usually fall under the standard contact arrangements and is, therefore, often handled as a separate issue.

Making a compromise 

When it comes to Christmas arrangements, both parties need to be flexible. Children need to spend quality time with both parents. Sometimes this can be extremely difficult, especially when families have different traditions, relatives visiting, or if a parent wants to take the children away for the holidays. Both parties will need to find a compromise, whether it be delaying the Christmas dinner or even moving the main celebrations to another day entirely (i.e. Boxing Day.) Trying to work around these arrangements amicably is the best way to guarantee the children will have an enjoyable and happy Christmas. 

Parents should also provide plenty of notice and a valid explanation to the other if they want to have their children on a particular day or time over the Christmas holidays. Parents should recognise both parties will be disappointed at some point over the festive period and should be mindful of one another. It will inevitably be a challenging time for all involved. 

Other factors that could influence Christmas contact arrangements

While being fair, having the children's best interests at the forefront of these arrangements is always the biggest priority.

Other factors can significantly influence the festive period arrangements, for example, the issue of step-siblings and blended families. Both parents should consider the impacts of separating step-siblings over the Christmas break.

Lastly, we have to consider possible logistical issues. If parents live far away from one another, it may be more beneficial for the children not to spend significant time travelling between parents over Christmas. As such, it could be in the children's best interest to rotate Christmas yearly. Separated parents that live closer together will have more options available to them and can choose to alternate the days over Christmas rather than the years. 

There is no set solution to these issues, but compromises will be needed from both sides to ensure quality time for each parent. If a dispute were to go to the courts to decide, a Judge would look at the facts of the situation and try to reach an agreement they consider fair based on the facts. 

Making arrangements early and sticking to them 

Any arrangement made for Christmas should be done well in advance. We recommend this because if there were to be any issues, there would be sufficient time to resolve them using either family mediation or Court application. That said, it's not common for a Court to intervene and put arrangements in place at the very last minute. It can also cause a lot of stress and high emotion trying to make plans so close to Christmas, especially when both parties can't agree. Discussing with the other considerably earlier in the year will likely lead to a positive outcome for all involved. Letting the children know, well in advance, where they will be spending Christmas will also help provide them with structure and reassurance.

For more information or help with family mediation, please do not hesitate to contact our family team on 023 8063 9311 or email familyenquiries@warnergoodman.co.uk.